Something happened this year, something special. I turned 38… For some reason 38 seems to be a very important year for me. It’s the age where i’ve finally made sense to myself.
I have had a simple happy life for the last 10 years, everything has floated by smoothly and gently. Then 38 happened and something inside of me shifted. I think i needed to evolve. I think i’m going through a midlife crisis. Those words ‘midlife crisis’ used to scare me, until i understood what they mean and how it’s not necessarily bad to go through one. I’m starting to think that it’s beneficial to go through one, otherwise life just rolls by and then you die with possibly mountains of regrets. Here’s a pretty straightforward definition of a midlife crisis is according to Wikipedia
A midlife crisis is a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle-aged individuals, typically 45–64 years old. The phenomenon is described as a psychological crisis brought about by events that highlight a person’s growing age, inevitable mortality, and possibly shortcomings of accomplishments in life. This may produce feelings of depression, remorse, and anxiety, or the desire to achieve youthfulness or make drastic changes to current lifestyle. When it does occur, a midlife crisis is not typically actually experienced during the midpoint of one’s life, which for most average human lifespans would be around the age of 40.
38 is the middle place…
I am in a strange transitional period of my life, where i no longer want to have the same name, live in the same place and i’ve never been more clear and focused one what i want to offer to the world.
I want to grow my hair long and dye it auburn (not just because there are some greys coming through, but because i think it would look nice), throw away all my clothes and buy new ones that suit me. I want to abandon relationships that serve me no purpose or joy. I want to take back power into my hands from the men in my family and say the things i’ve been putting aside for way to long. I want to say what i think when i think it, instead of putting off and letting time morph the truth. I want to live for the moment and be honestly present in every second that counts, especially with my loved ones. I want to learn how to stress less about the small stuff and maybe even the big stuff. I want to be more than content with my life, i hate the word content, i would rather say i’m thrilled with my life. I want to explore and travel as much as possible. I want to do things that will inspire other people to make changes in their own lives.
Yes i want to be that person! I never ever again want to feel bad for being myself!
The only things i don’t want to change or loose is my wonderful, truly supportive husband and my exceptionally adorable little daughters. Everything else can change if it needs to, so be it.
« Life is truly an incredible journey and each and every day should never been seen as a day lost, but rather a day of knowledge and experience gained ». Ilda
When i went on the internet to find out if others have found some clarity or experienced some significant change at the age of 38, i found these wonderful articles. Definitely worth a read.
38 Life Lessons from 38 Years
38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years
POST WRITTEN BY LEO BABAUTA.
I also found this quote by Martin Luther King Jr
“You may be 38 years old, as I happen to be. And one day, some great opportunity stands before you and calls you to stand up for some great principle, some great issue, some great cause. And you refuse to do it because you are afraid…. You refuse to do it because you want to live longer…. You’re afraid that you will lose your job, or you are afraid that you will be criticized or that you will lose your popularity, or you’re afraid that somebody will stab you, or shoot at you or bomb your house; so you refuse to take the stand.
Well, you may go on and live until you are 90, but you’re just as dead at 38 as you would be at 90. And the cessation of breathing in your life is but the belated announcement of an earlier death of the spirit.”